The end. Or should I say the beginning?

 A year ago I would have titled this the end: The end of my love, the end of my life, the end of the world. But looking back now I see the truth; this was the beginning: The beginning of my life, my love and my dream.

I decided early on in life that I wanted to get married right out of college and become a mom. I dreamed of having a fairy tale romance like a high school sweetheart marriage. I had no idea what I was asking for but it wasn’t hard to find. I fell in love in high school with a young man slightly older than myself. He was mature and charming. I couldn’t resist being swept out of my dull high school books and into my fantasy world. The time flew by; graduation came and went as our feelings grew stronger. The life I had planned for myself seemed to be falling into place. But, the summer quickly gave way to the new school year, which meant I moved into my college dorm a whole 3 hours away from my heart and soul. Needless to say I was miserable and rarely allowed myself to enjoy the college experience. My time was filled with longing for my love and crying over our growing number of fights. The distance took its toll on us and the relationship came to a harsh end over thanksgiving. Devastated I called it quits at school and moved back home after only one semester. That should have been the end of him but after only four months of being home we found our way back into each others arms. From there things went very fast. Within a month I had a shiny rock on my left ring finger and was planning the winter wedding of my dreams! He was the center of my world, the sun of my universe. Every move I made was for him. I was young and in love what can I say. Time began to blur as I prepared for my I do’s. The dress was bought; the venues and photographer booked, and the custom napkins were orders. My Bridesmaids were fitted as the wedding date grew near. I called these months of planning the wedding fog; I paid little attention to anyone that was not him or anything that was not the wedding. I didn’t see it coming though now I can see the signs. He started to pull away and the arguments grew more common. I could see the ice was thin but told myself it was only stress that caused the fights. I told myself this but I lied. Just a month and a half before the wedding it all came crashing down. There would be no wedding; there was no engagement, there was nothing. He changed his mind. He left me there alone in the ashes of the only world I knew. I pretended to be ok, putting a smile on at work. Truth be told I had no idea what to do on my own.

That was the end. Or should I say the beginning.