I am going to rewind the story back a few months for the next few posts in order to explain some thoughts I had during The Journey and a few events that occurred before The Opportunity. These events play into the story later on and will help in the understanding of those that have yet to be said...
During the time of healing and I think even after I had convinced myself I was recovered I had only really wanted one thing. I would never admit it to myself or anyone else but in the back of my head I acknowledged the small voice of my heart quietly wishing the he would come back to me. I wanted him to come back to save and shelter me from this life of uncertainty. To take me back to the world I once knew so well, a world so easy to live in. Part of me wanted this so badly but the other part of me feared what would happen if he did return. It was a war between the two pieces of me. On one hand I was a fearless and strong new woman that needed no helping hand from any man. I knew how to make myself happy and make decisions on my own. On the other hand I was a simple young girl holding on to a dream and a fairytale that I so wanted to be true. In his absence there was no choice to be made but if he returned… I would have to choose who I wanted to be more, which life I wanted to lead. I feared his return but I feared the decision I would have to make even more. The battle was a pointless one because I knew he would never return. I don’t know why the thought even crossed my mind but never-the-less it did. At the time I didn’t understand why that small part of me hoped, but looking back now I think it was because that small part of me knew….
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